Reviews

I had my 90 day review - 120 days after I started working...small details. The worst thing about a review is that they criticize every little thing about your work. I have had reviews before. I have always gotten "exceeds expectations" on at least a couple of things, and then "meets expectations" on others. So, not because I am cocky but because I pride myself in my work, I was expecting some "exceeds expectations." I didn't get any. I actually got some "needs improvement" ouch...ok. That hurt my pride. It was on takes initiative and my dress. I just went out last month and got new clothes and they have complimented me on them non stop. It hurt that they said I don't take initiative because I have learned my job, the teller job, and I do the RBO's (my supervisor) job when she is out...after 4 months and no experience in banking. So I'm not too sure how much more initiative they would like me to take. I have decided that I'm going to take this as a wake-up call. Maybe I am not taking enough initiative. Maybe it is because I hate my job. I'm not sure, because I have always, always made sure that my work is a reflection of me. I want people to see my work and see something different - I want them to see that I don't cut corners, I don't cheat, that it is trustworthy, and reliable...because that's what God calls me to do.

I have been trying and trying to glorify God while in this position and it just isn't working. I am thankful that I have a job that pays my bills, I am thankful that I have enough money to eat, I am thankful that I have health insurance that is so good. I have tried to put God in my work and it just feels like it's not working. I'm really discouraged. Anybody have any ideas or pointers? As an outsider looking in, what do you think? At this moment I feel like my head boss has been acting two-faced, saying she is proud of my work and that I look very nice in my outfits and then having my direct supervisor put it on my evaluation that my clothes are not nice enough and I am not taking enough initiative. My job has been a constant struggle since I started here. I'm trying to keep my heart open and try to get what God's teaching me..."sometimes you have to do things you really don't want to"??? I don't know!